by coffeebaby for KNKI​ app​

​Have dinner plans but still unsure what to do with the rest of your special day? Here are five affordable, kinky ideas for you and your Valentine.

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​Give each other 30 minutes to find ten items in the dollar store that can be used in a BDSM scene. Then go home and try them all.

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​Use your KNKI app to invite a bunch of kinky people in your area to an impromptu V-day singles meet up at a local bar.

​Build a naked wrestling ring on your bed (or carpet) with a plastic drop cloth and a jar of coconut oil or massage oil candles. Winner takes all the candy!

Take a Kundalini Yoga class together to awaken your sexual energy. Don't feel like leaving your bed?  Here's one you can try on YouTube.

​Find a secluded outdoor location to have an amazingly creative BDSM photo shoot (and maybe a quick scene too). 

     by KNKIapp.com

Find @KNKIAmanda on KNKI app
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Seems like our smartphones are capable of doing everything for us but cooking a hot meal, although they can order takeout and have it delivered to our door. By far the most popular use of mobile apps is to hook us up with new friends and romantic interests, but until the emergence of KNKI app there hasn’t been an app made specifically for the authentic BDSM community.

So now that we have our own app, (and being the geeks we are) it’s only natural we’d come up with several delightfully kinky ways to use the app as a method of consensual control and D/s training.

Geo-location
Monitor your partner’s location throughout the day using the travel feature.  If they aren’t where they are supposed to be you’ll know immediately. Then it’s punishment time! Yes!

Status Updates
Especially beneficial for humiliation training, or simply as a platform for your partner to express their undying devotion to you, status updates can be used as a quick blast to the kinky world. Public apologies for infractions can be particularly amusing for everyone.

FotoFeed
Have your partner take photos at your direction and upload them to the Feed, then decide whether they should be made private or public. This can be used as a journaling tool, or just for pure, sadistic enjoyment.

Hashtags
Pick creative hashtags for your partner to tag their photos with so they’ll be found in all future searches.
#analwhore is a really good one.

Needless to say your partner has to be 100% onboard and consenting to all your kinky app control fuckery, but can you honestly find a more enjoyable use for mobile technology? Because I can’t.

​Stay kinky my friends, and if you can think of other ways to use the app to control your partner add them in the comments below.

​Vanessa Soumettre for KNKI​ app​
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While books like Fifty Shades of Grey are bringing kink into the mainstream and into the spotlight, those who live the alternative lifestyle know that there’s always been kink if you are willing to seek it out. Books such as Anne Rice’s Beauty series and the Market Place novels expose the reader to the surface world of BDSM and power exchange relationships. What is not commonly known is the picture and written history of the lifestyle extends back further than most imagine.

​The Carter-Johnson Leather Library is a unique collection of images, books, magazines and other items that document BDSM and Leather history as it’s existed for centuries. What is unique about the Leather Library is that the collection travels from one location to another, sharing the history of those who choose to live and love in an alternative fashion.  The collection is maintained by Viola Johnson and a dedicated staff who preserve the history for those who wish to know they are not alone, and have never been alone in their carnal desires. 

The collection is priceless not just to those interested in learning about alternative lifestyle history for personal or academic reasons, but in reality also.  Many pieces in the collection are one of a kind, or limited edition.  The collection houses tomes and pamphlets, video and film, and other collectable items that represent all spectrums of human sexuality.  No one is left out in the cold; all manners of existence are represented in the collection.   

For those interested in learning more about the lengthy history of alternative living you can visit the Carter-Johnson Leather Library website at: http://www.leatherlibrary.org

The website has a contact us button for those interested and also contains a touring list of upcoming locations where the historic library will be displayed in the near future.

​Vanessa Soumettre for KNKI​ app​

So you wanna be a Dom? BDSM and kinky lifestyles often include the use of toys. We aren't talking tinker toys we mean whips and chains and other instruments of (consensual) pain. There are crops, and floggers. People use spreader bars and ball gags. The list of items one might purchase from an adult retailer to bring the pain might just have your household budget calling: RED. 
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Say you have a fetish for restraining or being restrained. Got rope? I don't mean twine - although there are uses for the smaller strands. I am talking about 100 feet or more of 1/2 inch braided nylon for under $2. It is already treated, it is already braided. You can purchase it in different colors to match your shoes or necktie.  The cashier won't give you a second look and unlike handcuffs it won't set off the metal detector at the airport.

If impact play is more your style, using objects to hit your willing partner, allow me to direct you to aisle 6. We are gonna walk past the purple paint with Scotchguard and grab a handful of those paint stirrers they give you for free. Yes I said free. One of the wonderful things about being kinky is that just about anything is pervertible. Use one for a little sensation play or take eight of them, secure them with that twine from the above paragraph and you've just created a homemade cane.

Is your play a little more sexual in nature? Is your kink making your woman orgasm and squirt until exhaustion? You're gonna want some tarp. Pick the size that fits over your king size mattress, plug in that Hitachi vibrator and never sleep in the wet spot again.  Most can be laundered in a washing machine, and have eyelets on the sides you can use to secure it tightly. (another use for that twine) Before you leave the store, stop in aisle 12 and grab a surge protector. When you plug in that Hitachi you also want to make sure your fun isn't interrupted by a blown house fuse.

Some of us like to play in a more hands on manner. Did you know that you can purchase prefabricated stairs at your store? You can purchase them in parts, they can be cut to order. Add a little padding, a water resistant cover and you can have your very own spanking bench for a fraction of the cost buying of buying one outright. Your spankee can kneel in comfort while you let your hands do the talking on their bottom. 

Let's say your submissive has been a very bad girl, and not that good type of bad. I've heard that kneeling on rice is used. Have you considered using a carpet runner instead? Of course they sell the pretty type that are fashionable in 2015, but they also sell the old school plastic type your grandmother had on her stairs. Flip it over and have her kneel on the studded side. Your bad, bad baby boy submissive isn't likely to make the same transgression twice after this treatment. 

In just about every aisle of your big chain hardware store is something pervertible for your kinky needs. Why not make it a date night? Take your partner with you as you walk the aisles and let your kinky minds run wild. The best part is you get to go home and test drive all your new items together. 

​Vanessa Soumettre for KNKI​ app

The idea of fostering a deeper connection within a relationship is not new. Couples in search of the ultimate bonding experience at times consider a practice those outside of the kinky umbrella might find controversial; adult nursing.

The process often takes time to start if the woman is not already lactating. It takes discipline and commitment to produce a flow of milk that a partner can ingest. Similar to other bodily fluids one partner can pass STIs [sexually transmitted infections] to another.  So why do some choose this method to express their commitment to kink?

Increased intimacy is high on the list of those who choose this path. The couple is required to rest in close proximity to one another, often in a quiet and soothing environment.  Nursing at both breasts can take 30-45 minutes where the couple remain connected without interruption. Some describe the process as more intimate than sexual intercourse. The process of lactation can make a woman feel more feminine as she performs a function only women are designed to do.  The partner on the receiving end describes being cradled and cherished as benefits of the ANR relationship.

Prior to starting an ANR a couple should evaluate what it takes to make this type of connection work.  Is the woman healthy? Will she be able to lactate by suckling and massage only or will she seek the assistance of medication? How much time per day, yes per day, are they willing to commit to jump starting lactation? Similar to a child who nurses, a woman who produces breast milk for her partner needs consistent suckling to produce breast milk in a noticeable quantity. There are many things to consider before beginning, including are there any medications the woman is taking that she could pass to her partner through breast milk?

Adult nursing is a commitment of time with a reward of attachment. Sounds like a reasonable trade to me.

Would you ever consider an adult nursing relationship with your intimate partner?

Pour a little vanilla into your exploits. You and your partner rejected vanilla when you entered this life. You two won't even buy vanilla ice cream any longer you're so kinky. I'm not suggesting you go full vanilla bean, instead I am reminding you of what brought you together initially.  Kink is a part of your life, but only a part. Your attention and affection connected you two based on vanilla compatibility. Man cannot live on floggers alone. If it was politics that brought you together put the nipple clamps away and watch a Republican debate. If you bonded because you are both a member of Steeler Nation take your Terrible Towels to the local sports bar and cheer your team on loudly. Touching on your compatibility is a way to maintain your intimacy. When you maintain your intimacy a pleasant side effect is better physical expression of said intimacy.

Perform in front of an audience. There are play parties and dungeons all over the country.  If you look around you can probably find one right in your backyard. Pack your toy bag and join your fellow kinksters. Even if you don't play in public your first night out you've added a metric to that kinky thing you do. The sights and sounds alone can be arousing. If you do get to have a public S&M scene putting on a show can be an adrenaline rush, even a natural high. You can ride that high for hours or days keeping your baseline at home on a higher level.

What are some of the ways you've flipped the kinky script with your partner? ​

​Vanessa Soumettre for KNKI ​app
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When you woke this morning you realized you were kinky. Somewhere between brushing your teeth and the 74th minute of your morning commute you realized that a little S&M mixed with your s-e-x might be a good thing. By the time lunch hour arrives you understand Christian Grey better than Anastasia Steele and you're planning to build your very own 'red room of pain'. Right before you put your key in the front door after your long day of work and revelations it occurs to you: I have to tell my partner... how on earth do I do that?  K.I.S.S. them.

Keep It Simple Sadomasochist [KISS].
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Choose a time with your partner to talk about your idea of what kink is, and how it looks to you. Over dinner perhaps, but it should be a place and time where you two can dialogue without interruption. Don't do it post coitus! You want this conversation to be earnest without the rose colored fog that comes post orgasms. The conversation is a time to explain what your understanding of what kink is and why you want it to be a part of your life. 

While it is certainly possible your partner won't be surprised, after all they often know us better than ourselves, this might be a new revelation to them. If they seem surprised by your admission take it slowly. Tell them what piqued your interest. Was it a movie? Was it an ad campaign in a magazine where the model was in shiny patent leather? Was it the new Rhianna video? If it was any of those things, show them to your partner.  Give them the same visual you saw, have them read the same passage you read.  This will help them see the appeal through your eyes. It also gives you a conversation opener. 

Obviously sharing this new component of your personality means you hope your partner will join you in exploring this new world. Don't rush the process! Right now you are sharing, that means you are explaining without requiring reciprocity. Your partner might need wrap their head around this "new" you. This is the time to seek out resources and information the two of you can digest together. The Google will help, but those resources can also be found right here at KNKI. This is a community of people who are kinky like you, and once upon a time had to tell their partners about their desires. These are people living the life you hope to live and can give real life examples of how it worked for them. 

Once the proverbial cat is out of the bag, there is a brand new kinky world waiting for you to imprint in it. Take it slow, keep it simple, and draw on the experiences of those who've been there and done that.  Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, they will have questions. Be honest, be sincere and be ready to move forward at their pace. My last advice is remember; there is not right or wrong way to be kinky. There is only a right and a wrong way to practice your kink for you (and your relationship). You can do as little or as much as you feel is right for your household.  As long as the two of you are doing it together and happily? You've achieved your goals and kinked it up a notch.